Signs and Notices




Honeywell Computers: West London
STRICTLY NO ADMITTANCE
mind the step!

A Northern Sign
MANCHESTER HEALTH & FITNESS CLUB
Take lift to Second Floor

An Oxford Sign
VARSITY SCHOOL OF ENGLISH - press bell on left; when buzzer sounds, push hard on door and enter; take first left and second right, go to far end of corridor and ascend spiral staircase: our welcome desk is situated diagonally opposite the second-floor landing. PLEASE ASK FOR DETAILS of our six-week intensive tuition course, "ESSENTIAL ENGLISH FOR COMPLETE BEGINNERS".

A Legal Sign
NO ENTRY for those bearing burdens
[Entry to London Law Courts]

A Tribute Notice
Owing to misfortunes in childhood, he was almost entirely self-educated.
[statue of F Henry Royce, in Sinfin]

An Ecclesiastical Notice
The Brothers of the Misericord harbour every kind of disease and have no respect for religion.
[source: Guardian Weekly]

A French Traffic Notice
To the right, "Toutes Directions".
To the left, "Autres Directions".
[source: Guardian Weekly]

An Inconvenient Notice
In the toilets of an office block in Harare: "This urinal is out of order, please use the floor below".
[source: Guardian Weekly]

A Memorial Inscription
NOW AT REST
from his wife and family.

And another - as seen in an undertaker's window display
In loving memory of ROSE
who budded, bloomed, then faded away.

Can't resist also adding my suggested advertising strap for the local undertaker...
Always at your Disposal.

An Examination Notice
Negligently presented or slovenly work will be penalized.
[Northern Universities Joint Matriculation Board]

A Hospital Sign
BEWARE OF FALLING LIMBS
[notice displayed in wooded grounds, warning of potential danger following severe winter storms]

A moving exhortation
Your journey is what you make it.
[slogan on Essex County Council Bus and Train Maps]

A telematic announcement
** In the near future, this system will no longer display departure information. This is due to a system upgrade. **
[dot matrix scrolling display at Essex bus stops]

A Welsh Notice
No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only.
Nid wyf yn y swyddfa ar hyn o bryd. Anfonwch unrhyw waith iw gyfieithu.
    (The Welsh text translates into English as follows: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated.")

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